The lecture was stimulating. After having morning coffee with David, it was odd to see him in formal mode. Dressed in a suit and tie, glasses perched on the end of his nose, he seemed remote and cool. His accent suited his lecture, as he juxtaposed women throughout history with their male counterparts, stressing the contributions these women have made that have gone unsung, while underscoring the lack of choices then as opposed to now. Still, it made me smile to see him being his ‘teacher’ self. Or rather, professor self. Because he’s a full fledged professor with enough degrees to impress anyone. I think, but am not sure, that he holds three doctorates, well, at least two, one in Humanities and one in Philosophy. I can’t remember, although I know he told me this morning.
After the lecture, after he had to speak with several people and do what I take is the usual after lecture chit chat for such an event, he joined Nyle and me for supper, and here we sit, with Nyle and David sparring yet again. And I’m the point of contention. I don’t know whether to laugh or hide under the table. David has picked up a tiny fork and a pair of tongs, making to extract a snail from its shell, and is now gesturing with the utensils.
“Ridiculous,” Nyle says.
“No, not ridiculous. It makes no difference whatsoever what pursuit Siobhan has chosen, be it housekeeping or deep space exploration. It’s the fact that there are choices available.”
“Ridiculous,” Nyle repeats. “That housekeeping is even a choice is degrading. Most women do it anyway, and without benefit of pay. And there is no similarity between housekeeping and deep space exploration.”
“I guess you’ve never tidied up a closet, then, Nyle,” I say, and take a bite of the fois gras on my plate. The closest I’ve ever come to fois gras has been Oscar Meyer liverwurst, and I’ve always wanted to taste it. This stuff just melts on my tongue. I wonder if I could disguise it and get Alex to try it; I know that if he knew it was goose liver he would never touch it.
David laughs at my quip, pops the snail from its shell, and eats it. I can’t say that I’m all that anxious to try that. I’ve been in gardens early in the morning. I know what a slug looks like. Still, I must be staring with curiosity, because David pulls another morsel from a shell, puts it on a crisp toast point, drizzles some garlic butter on it, and places it on my bread plate.
“They’re very good,” he says, and goes back to his chatter with Nyle.
I eat the garlicky thing. It’s not as bad as I anticipated, and I can hear Alex laughing at me, teasing me over eating a snail, and how I’ve internally balked at the thought, not unlike his aversion to my trout. I wash the snail down with a sip of wine. Something white and clean, with a lot of flavor. Something David recommended.
He’s quite the... person. Talking to him is like uncovering layers of an onion. Peel one layer back and something else appears. His interests range from the subjects he teaches to the wine list. He’s vocal about them all, without ever being commandeering. He’s knowledgeable without being preachy. He knows how to keep a conversation going without having to take it over. All in all, he’s charming and good company.
And I can’t help but wonder how much of the three of us being here was Nyle’s doing.
I know that’s a silly thought, but it’s there in my head and won’t leave. I know that it’s silly because David asked me to supper tonight over coffee this morning. I know that I explained that Nyle and I had a date for supper and he asked if we could make it a threesome. I know that Nyle was surprised when I phoned her this morning and asked if it would be all right with her if David joined us. So how could she have had anything to do with the three of us sitting on the upper deck of the restaurant enjoying a wonderful meal with the beach only steps away across the highway?
Because she did.
I’ve made up my mind that she’s somehow machined it all. And only because David is so undeniably eligible, and in Nyle’s eyes, someone highly acceptable. Elevating. Someone above the dross of regular humans. Someone who might be ‘good’ for me, the same way she sees herself as ‘good’ for me.
And she’d be right, on all counts.
Nyle IS good for me. She sees things I don’t and isn’t reserved about telling me what she sees. She senses things I don’t, and shares that information as well. It’s no secret that she thinks I should be doing other things with my life; even the lecture tonight was aimed at that. The gentle debate going back and forth across the table about my current employment status wouldn’t be happening if she didn’t think I needed to be doing something different; better, in her opinion. I suppose that’s the only setback to her setup. David is NOT cooperating in the way she wants him to.
Nyle would make a wonderful general.
No. Dictator.
And David’s lack of cooperation, I like it. I like it very much.
“Shi, you have to stop taking over the conversation the way you do,” Nyle says.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize.
“Please, we should be the ones begging your pardon,” David says. “Nyle and I have gotten into this terrible habit of entertaining people with our discussions.”
“And it IS entertaining,” I tell him. “Go on, I’m enjoying myself.”
“Perhaps you are at that,” David says, and he flashes a smile that I feel in my kneecaps.
I’m going to have to kill Nyle.
~~**~~**~~***~~**~~**~~
“You set me up,” I say to Nyle. We’re walking on the beach, shoes in hand and toes digging into the sand. David is gone, begging off the walk with the excuse of being tired. There are warm spots on my cheeks where he kissed them, brushing his lips once on each side. He’s done the same to Nyle, so I shouldn’t be thinking anything of it other than it being a European affectation.
But the spots are still warm.
“Not intentionally,” she says. I look at her and she smiles. “Truthfully.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“I don’t know,” she says, dabbling her toes in the incoming tide. “Why don’t you believe me?”
“Because there’s no reason for David Ravensdale.”
“What a strange thing to say. What is the reason for anyone, then?” And she laughs out loud.
“Well, there’s no reason for him to be hanging around,” I say. And I take out a cigarette and pause to light it, cupping my hand around the fragile flame from my lighter.
“I’d say that his reasons are his own.” Nyle hugs herself as she walks along the shore. “I didn’t ask him to introduce himself. I didn’t ask him to join us yesterday. And I certainly didn’t ask him to join us for supper tonight.” She shrugs.
“I know, and I’m still trying to figure out how you’ve managed to make it all seem so casual.”
“There’s nothing to figure out. It is casual. A casual series of coincidences. Pleasant, isn’t it? He’s a very nice person. It would be horrible if he wasn’t, wouldn’t it? It’s always such a nuisance to have some you don’t like be attracted to you, isn’t it?”
“Attracted?”
“Umm. I would say so, wouldn’t you?”
“No,” I tell her.
“No? Why not?”
“Because not. People like David... no.” I shake my head. I’m not going to say what I’m feeling out loud, because it’s going to prompt a discussion I don’t want to have. The day has been wonderful, from start to finish. I don’t want to end it with anything more than this stroll on the beach and the short drive home.
Nyle must sense my reluctance and presses no further.
“Did you enjoy the lecture?” she asks.
“Yes, it was informative.”
“I thought you might be interested,” she says. She looks at me. I cock an eyebrow at her. “In the subject matter, Siobhan. In the subject matter.”
“I was. Am.”
“If any other lectures come up, I’ll let you know. There’s usually one or two a week, although they’re not always as... interesting.”
“Nyle, you’re very bad,” I say.
“All right, pertinent then, damnit Siobhan, it’s not that big of a deal. He asked me about you. Point blank. I told him nothing. Point blank. I wasn’t surprised when he showed up yesterday, I think he’s been stalking me to see if you’d make another on campus appearance. And you did.” She shrugs. “You running into him in town, well, it’s a small town and he lives in it, too. The rest is the rest, although I’ll admit, I was thinking of asking him to join us for supper anyway. So there it is, the nefarious plan. For whatever reasons, and I know them not, the man is attracted to you.”
I shake my head and Nyle laughs again.
“You, my dear, have some serious self-esteem issues,” she says.
“I like myself fine.”
“You think so? I don’t know how you can, you don’t think that anyone else can like you.”
There’s nothing like a psychic slam upside the head. Nyle’s right. Not necessarily about the self-esteem, I DO like myself, but I don’t expect another living soul to like me. Not a one.
“I’m sorry, that was out of line,” Nyle says, and she puts her hand on my arm to stop me from walking.
“No, it’s fine, Nyle, really. It’s the truth. You seem to have the market on truth cornered. And I’m not upset by it.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Oh, the hell with David.”
“No, David’s fine, too. I guess I’m taken a little off guard, that’s all.”
“He’s harmless. Believe me. If you’re not interested, I’m sure he’ll just, just go back to wherever he comes from. Some little cubicle of an office stacked with reams of research and un-graded test papers, I’m sure, but, well, that’s what he does.” She hooks her arm through mine and we continue our walk. “It doesn’t matter. The night is too nice to waste thinking about men and their problems. Look at that moon,” she says.
So I look at the moon and walk and finish my cigarette while listening to Nyle and the sound of the waves. It’s a mild night; spring is upon us and summer isn’t far behind. A bright night, the moon being close to full. It’s almost blinding, and I look away, back to my left where the hills are. The city is lit along the highway. There’s a glow beyond the hills, a glow from Los Angeles, from the city proper.
And up the hills I see a tiny light in the trees shining from a familiar, stucco edifice that glows eerie white in the moonlight. The light is up high and it seems very far away, although I know that it isn’t, and I know that even from this distance, with that moon, I can be seen on the beach. Maybe I’m only a tiny, dark speck, but I can definitely be seen.
~~**~~**~~***~~**~~**~~
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© 2003 Chandrah, Inc.
© 2003 (*> Baby Bird Productions, Inc.
